A Birthday with No Cake

Sometimes I find myself feeling a bit sad and ashamed all at the same time. Today, tonight especially, is one of those moments. Why sad? Today Holden would've turned four. All day I've thought about how I should be planning for his birthday party, making a cake, buying presents, and yet I wasn't able to do any of that. Four years have passed, and I still find myself a bit sad that he is not here playing with us, showing his brother how to be a big boy, and giving me kisses. That's when I feel ashamed. I have so much that I hate spending any time not being thankful and grateful for all that I have been blessed with. I guess tonight I will list all of the wonderful things that happened today...

• Carter's good morning kisses. He started about a month ago saying, "Mom, you haven't had your good morning kiss." Which is followed by a big kiss with his arms wrapped tight around my neck. Lately he has been saying and doing this several times a day. I sure don't tell him that I've already had my good morning kiss because I could always use more. :)
• Today Carter and I took a nap together. I love that little boy and there is something special about waking up to that little sleepy face.
• Listening to Carter and Brandon play in Carter's room tonight while I did dishes just warms my heart. I am so lucky to have married a man who is a great husband and a fantastic father.
• My car is clean...finally...just in time for a short road trip. Carter and I leave tomorrow to go pick up my nephew, Riley. We are so excited to have him spend his spring break with us. I am also excited to see my friend Deb as well as lots of friends and family members on our short trip.
• Carter watched Snow White before bed tonight, so now that he is asleep, I have no toys to pick up. Putting away one DVD is so much easier than an arm full of train pieces.

Happy Heavenly Birthday Holden Christopher! I Love You!